Ohio Man Shares Wife’s Infertility Struggle to Encourage Other Couples
An Ohio man detailed just how hard it was for him and his wife to conceive a child — even suffering a miscarriage — in an inspirational Facebook post gone viral.
Dan Majesky, of Cincinnati, wrote in a lengthy heart-tugging post that he and his wife Leah tried for three years to have a baby, from enduring hormone treatments and sperm collection to finally intra-uterine insemination, where sperm is placed inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate reproduction.
“And you get pregnant,” writes Majesky, 37. “Everything looked great and we were on track, so when we went in for one final scan before being released to our obstetrician a couple weeks later, we were all smiles and jokes. ‘I’m so sorry. I can’t find the heartbeat.’ And then you’re not pregnant.”
Majesky told ABC News that he originally opened up about his wife’s miscarriage because he wanted to update family and friends about their progress of having a baby and didn’t want to “leave this secret out about this lost child.”
“After we shared it, friends and family asked us to make it public so that they could share it with a couple of other people. We had no expectation that what has happened would happen,” he added of his post going viral.
After sharing what he planned to write with Leah, 36, whom he calls “more private,” Majesky said the two decided that sharing their journey would be a “net positive.”
“We hoped it would be, anyway,” he said.
In his post, Majesky writes of losing his first child: “I’m logical. I understand science and biology. I know it was a fetus, not a baby. But it was my baby. In my head, in my heart, I could already imagine being old as it grew into an adult and had its own children, and — woosh — it was all gone.”
“But no one talks about it,” he continues. “When a family member dies, you can share your grief. With a miscarriage, you would have to tell people that someone who will never be born, who they had never heard of and will never meet, but who meant the world to you, is gone. And you don’t have the strength to get into it.”
Majesky said that’s why he decided to open up about the emotional ordeal.
“It’s such a hidden thing for something unfortunately common,” he told ABC News. “People feel isolated. People feel alone. Or [perhaps] they’re embarrassed or they don’t want to jinx their chances of having a baby by sharing these things, or they don’t want to bring people down. Or they don’t want to be judged. They don’t want to hear everyone’s advice on what they need to do and what not. My sense is that it’s hurting people to hold it in and to feel that isolation.”
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 24,000 babies aren’t carried to term each year in the United States and 12 percent of women, ages 15 to 44, have had difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term.
Majesky’s story ended on a good note. He and his wife are expecting a baby girl this November.
“I’m incredibly excited but maybe equally wary. There’s a lot of time left before I get to meet her and I’m nervous and I’m scared and I’m hopeful and it’s a cycle of emotions that I’ve never really experienced,” he said. “But boy, I’m looking forward to it.”
The expecting father said he’s even discussed a name for his daughter, but added, “we’re going to keep that close to the vest.”