Counselor: ‘You get through it.’

COLUMBIA, S.C. (WOLO) — The holidays can be a tough time for people who have lost loved ones. A tragedy like an elementary school shooting compounds the trauma and grief. But as one licensed professional counselor explains, children and adults in the Midlands can overcome, saying, ‘You don’t get over it, you get through it.’ Licensed professional counselor (LPC) with Joy in the Mourning, a Midlands counseling service, Linda Gill, says, ‘children don’t know it’s okay to grieve, if we don’t teach them how to do it.’ She says Midlands parents should be honest with their children about the Connecticut elementary school shooting. “If you are a family of faith that believes in God, you use your faith and talk about how God didn’t make this happen, but He will help us get through it. If you’re a family not faith based, you talk with your kids honestly about what you’re doing to stay safe.” She strongly recommends physically holding your children tighter, letting them see you cry, and when they ask questions, giving them only information they are equipped to handle. “It’s like the story of the little boy who asked, ‘Daddy, where did I come from?’ Then the dad thinks he needs to go into the birds and the bees conversation, and shares all this info with his son. At the end, the son says, ‘Oh, okay Daddy, but did I come from Chicago or Ann Arbor?’ So we need to know what our child is asking.” She claims reassuring them they are safe is important. Limit the amount of television news coverage they watch, and keep talking, “as long as they have questions.” Finally, Linda Gill suggests doing a more private holiday celebration this year. She says the sense of closeness and intimacy will create a reassuring environment for you and your children. For more information about counseling services/support groups for grief and other issues, Joy in the Mourning is located at 2220 Lake Murray Boulevard in Columbia. Gill may be reached at 803-407-3185 or 803-413-2199.