The 5 rudest things we may not know we are saying

Pamela Eyring shares 5 things we commonly say without knowing that they may be 5 rudest things ever

COLUMBIA SC (WOLO) – For the most part, as a society, we do not walk around intentionally saying and doing rude things or things that might hurt someones else’s feelings.  According to The Protocol School of Washington’s Pamela Eyring, there are five common things we may say without knowing they could actually be very rude.

You look tired.
Have you ever had a good day going and a concerned coworker or loved one tells you how tired
you look? That can be like popping a balloon with a pin. People may say “You look tired” out of
concern for your well-being, but there are many reasons we may look tired in life. From stress to
getting older or even a sinus condition, we all have days where we simply don’t look our best
and, most of us, are probably already aware of the change in appearance. To have someone
tell you what you already know can derail you and deflate your self-esteem. If you’re truly
worried about someone’s appearance, there are much more tactful ways to say this, such as a
simple “How have you been?” Or “How’s life treating you lately?” This way you can show your
concern without making a fuss about someone’s outward appearance and avoid making them
feel self-conscious.

When is the baby due?

Unless you know one hundred percent, never assume that someone who might have something
that looks like a baby bump is actually expecting a child. Weight is a very sensitive issue and to
imply someone looks pregnant when she is not can be a very debilitating comment to someone
who may struggle with weight issues. Again, if you have been to her baby shower or she is
wearing a shirt that reads “Baby” with an arrow pointing downward, don’t ever assume someone
is pregnant.

How old are you?

Unless you’re at a child’s birthday party and singing an additional line to the Happy Birthday
song, never, ever ask anyone how old they are. Frankly, it’s no one’s business unless you’re a
physician or health insurance adjuster or the clerk at a liquor store checking IDs. Let’s face it,
we live in a society that can often be ageist and people can be sensitive about their
age—especially in professional settings. Also, we want to be known and acknowledged by our
character and our accomplishments…not by a random number that can be used to label.

Political Party Attacks

This is a general note on rude comments, but we have all seen an unprecedented rise in
wholesale attacks on opposing political parties from both Democrats and Republicans in the last
couple of years. I think when we generalize either party as good or bad, we move farther away
from being able to negotiate and be thoughtful about shared solutions. Just take a look at
political debates from the 1980s or even 1990s and there was still a shared respect of both
parties. I think we need to move back to that more respectful tone in discussing issues that
affect us all and stop with the “you people” mentality.

“Whatever.”

Many a parent or anyone in a relationship can testify about the rudeness and finality of the term
“whatever” in any discussion. By saying “whatever” you shut down any meaningful dialogue and
signify that the discussion is over. “Whatever” also implies that the other person’s point of view
is meaningless, throwing respect out of the window. Instead of saying, “whatever” try something
more engaging and receptive like “I hear you…but I also feel…”

You can learn more about Pam, politeness, and the Protocol School of Washington HERE.